Answer: Moving to a new facility is difficult because it requires figuring out all new systems: who to go to for what? People with STJ preferences don’t like change, especially if the new facility is not being run efficiently. They are used to their well-tested routines. Beside being in a new place, the Covid-19 restrictions have reduced communications with management and with other residents that could resolve some of the problems. ESTJs like direct one-on-one interaction to find out the rules, regulations and norms of the new place.
I would recommend directed communication with your mother to determine what her needs really are. Asking her questions about what problems need solving, giving her specific topics such as bills, tech issues, meals, doctors’ appointments, etc. Acknowledging that these are natural issues that arise with moving to a new place and telling her you are there to help her resolve these problems will hopefully open the door to a better understanding of what is really going on. It may be that she doesn’t want to bother you with things and that she is capable of handling the tasks with a little direction. Or, it may be that she is incapacitated because of memory problems. You need to have the conversation to determine what her state of mind really is.
It also may be related to the human behavior of making you the problem rather than dealing with her own issues. For both your types, your preference for Extraverted Feeling (Fe=FJ) gives you skills for paying attention to the needs of other people and being able to help people with those needs. However, in order to take care of other people, it is necessary to take care of yourself first. If you are taking care to meet your own needs, your ability to take care of others will improve.